Gay, now they say

Emboldened by the 377 verdict, many LGBTQ individuals are mustering up the courage to come out of the closet
Ameya Bahulekar made the announcement in style. This Friday, the 27-year-old strutted into his digital communications agency office in Mumbai in four-inch heels, a flowing dress and an elbow-length wig with a bow. “I generally glam up over the weekend, but today was a workday.My mother wondered if I was bunking work,” he smiled.
Closets were opening not just in Bahulekar’s home, but across India that day. The Supreme Court’s verdict on 377 is giving many the courage to come out.
Bahulekar was welcomed with smiles, cupcakes, and cameras. “My boss and colleagues arranged for a rainbow cake and the entire office sang ‘Happy Pride to you’.” Selfies followed. “I’ve never felt so accepted. I always wanted to be able to do this… The verdict was a turning point for me,” says Bahulekar.
Software engineer Arnab Nandy finally got the opportunity to realise his dream of “broadcasting” his identity. The Mumbaikar was visiting his parents in Tarapur, Maharashtra on the day of the verdict. When he arrived, his parents hugged him, saying, “Congratulations son, now it’s legal.”
Nandy came out to his parents three months ago. “They were apprehensive,” he says. “Dad is a government employee and they are law-abiding citizens. I didn’t realise how much 377 affected them and was holding them back from accepting me.”
Arnab Nandy came out publicly with this banner (above)
After the verdict, his mother encouraged him to tell everyone. Nandy posted a coming-out photo with his parents. “I am so Gay Today (literally and figuratively) as I am no longer a criminal,” he wrote, urging people to share his message so it reaches “folks who are struggling within”. The post received nearly 12,000 shares. There were numerous messages of people coming out to their parents after reading his post. “I wanted my first post to be a message to sensitise others,” he says. “Now, I can live my life like an open book.”
Anurag Kalia, one of the petitioners from the pan-IIT group Pravritti, says the judgment has created an atmosphere for people to come out to friends and family. “In fact, I have heard from many friends about how they’re going to broach the topic with their parents again, as it didn’t go well the first time,” he says.
For some, such as Gagan Goyal, 21, it has been an occasion to reaffirm their identity. The journalism student came out as gay and gender non-conforming five years ago, and wrote a celebratory Facebook post after the verdict. “I got hundreds of messages; when I walked into college, my entire class stood up and congratulated me. Many were wearing pride colours, and faculty members offered me a chance to do an exhibition on the history and ramifications of Section 377,” Goyal says.
Yet, for many more, it’s not so easy. Sanjay, an educational consultant from Delhi who penned a blog post for The Quint website about coming out to the world on the day of the verdict, feels there is still a lot of stigma attached to making the disclosure public. “The law and the Constitution may be on our side but public perception isn’t,” he wrote.
Coming from a conservative family, Sanjay was given strict instructions by his parents not to tell anyone about his sexual orientation, but he went public anyway. Being in the closet was a terrible experience, says the 26-year-old, which led to serious mental health issues. “I have been waiting to come out openly without having to worry about the legal consequences and it feels liberating. I’m finally able to be truly myself.”
Ananya, a 30-year old writer, came out as bisexual on Twitter on Thursday. “I wasn’t planning on coming out, but I had an epiphany. I realised that I just couldn’t live with not being out anymore,” she says. The only people left to tell are her family (which is why we changed her name). “I know they won’t accept it. A cousin who is homosexual has been ridiculed and ostracised by the family. I want to have a discussion, but don’t know how or when,” she says.
According to activist Harrish Iyer, coming out should be viewed as a process rather than an impulsive decision. “I am happy that a positive verdict is leading to a wave of positivity,” says Iyer. “We hear of positive stories that make it to social media, there are also stories that don’t get talked about — about parents reacting negatively. When children come out of the closet, parents get into a closet. Children need to be patient with them and sometimes ease them into understanding their sexuality.”