My girlfriend meets her ex-boyfriend without my knowledge

Question: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years. We are both in our mid-twenties and we believe in giving each other some personal space. We do not share our passwords or account details and we are okay with it. However, my girlfriend seems to take her privacy too seriously and does things that makes me doubt her. She would plan her weekends with friends and never involve me.It really hurts to know about their plans from a third person. Last week she met her ex-boyfriend and I came to know about this when he shared their pictures on social media. When I questioned her about this, she said I don’t value her privacy. What should I do?—By anonymous
Response by Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh : Thank you for reaching out to us, we are glad that you’ve trusted us to open-up about your problem.
In your situation, where you have been in a relationship with your girlfriend for three years, we would advise you to talk things out with her first. Incidents and issues like these always create a communication as well as an emotional gap, it’s always better to try talk things out with your partner from time to time so that there is no chance of a gap to come up.
While, you both value privacy and it might seem she values hers more than you do, it might be difficult initially to try to talk to her about your concerns. She might initially withdraw and even push you at a distance, but we suggest you stay calm and try to understand her perspective as much as you want her to understand yours. It’s only when two people try to understand each other that both of them come at an equilibrium.
Hence, you can only decide on a stance once you clear things out with her. One should never jump on conclusions, particularly in trivial matters like these.
Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh is HOD of Holistic Medicine & Psychology in Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon.
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